


Why I Love My (Soon To Be) Husband

by Mumintrollet



Category: Ant & Dec RPF, Ylvis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-11-21 04:32:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11349930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mumintrollet/pseuds/Mumintrollet
Summary: Ylvis: After working in New York they fly over to Portland for a bit of a holiday and to spend some time with Bjarte.Ant & Dec: A mix of holiday and preparing for IAC.And they meet and start to talk to each other after a bit of an incident at the restaurant they have a dinner at.





	1. An Important Question

**Author's Note:**

> This fiction is because it really feels like I've been cheating on Ylvis - so I had to write an Ylvis/AntnDec combined fic.  
> Just before we start:  
> \- I got hubris and thought I should write Ylvis/Calle's dialogue in Norwegian... (with English translation) Because I got hubris...  
> \- The Norwegian dialogues are (almost) adopted to Bergensk (I tried... hehe...) but Ant and Dec's dialogues aren't to Geordie... Because I don't even dare to try...  
> \- I'm from Sweden - so it will be mistakes and I really apologise. I tried to do my best.  
> \- I put it here and on Wattpad, feels like Ylvis-reders exist here.  
> \- And it's fiction, of course.  
> \- Last thing - All support and love to Ant! (And remember - it's [#AntMonth](https://twitter.com/GabbyJackson100/status/876441445271568384) in just a few days!)  
> 

Dec looks at Ant and they both smile. He lifts his glass, "Cheers, for us - exactly 25 years since the first time we met!". They are celebrating their 25th anniversary as best mates at this beautiful restaurant.

"Cheers for us, and next month 15 years as a married couple!"

They smile again and Dec thinks that he's maybe the happiest and luckiest man on earth. They're having a lovely dinner, they know they can trust Ali as their babysitter and he loves every little second he has and in the future will spend together with this man in front of him. He looks around in the room, every table is occupied but it doesn't feel noisy and crowded in a bad way, which often is the case when they have a meal out together in London.

It's a lot of people and couples in the room but it's only one table or company that really gets his attention. Four persons, first a beautiful blonde woman and next to her a man with even slightly lighter hair colour. His hair reaches to his shoulders and if Dec should be honest, his hair totally looks like a mess!

"What are you looking at?", Ant interrupts his staring and he looks back at him.

"Just at over there, and I'm trying to figure out with language they're speaking..."

Ant listens for a moment as well and then he says, "I guess... I guess we're somewhere in Scandinavia?"

"Thought that too...", no, he hadn't, he had just thought _sounds strange...!_

"Sweden maybe? Or Norway?"

\---

Vegard smiles and he exchanges a glance with his wife who smiles back at him. Right now, things are perfect! He looks at his brother, he's eating and talking to Calle. His eyes are twinkling and Calle holds out his hand. Things really are perfect; they are in Portland after a week with work in New York and right now he's having a wonderful dinner with his wife and brother. His brother is happy, things have finally settled and much of that all is thanks to Calle. Things couldn't be more wonderful!

Calle looks at his beautiful boyfriend, so happy to have him. He has been carrying around the little blue box in his inner pocket the whole week and been waiting for the perfect moment. He had looked out the ring and brought it some days before they flew over to the US and now, now it feels like the right moment to pop the most important question ever. So he holds out his hand towards Bård and he takes it.

"Bård, du er den vakreste og mest underbare i hele verden og eg er så sykt takknemlig at eg har deg i livet mitt! (Bård, you are the most beautiful and wonderful person in the entire world and I am so so happy I have you in my life!)", he smiles at him as he strokes the back of his hand with his thumb.

"Du vil aldri vite kor mye eg elsker deg. (You will never know how much I love you)", Bård smiles back at him. "Du gjorre mitt liv så mye, mye bedre! (You made my life so much better!)".

"Veldig bra, fordi eg vil stille deg et mye viktig spørsmål. (Very good, because I want to ask you a very important question.)", he raises up from his seat and walks beside Bård's chair. Bård looks a bit confused until he fells down on his knees and takes his hand. "Bård Urheim Ylvisåker, du er den beste eg noensinne har møtt og eg har aldri vært så lykkelig som eg er nå og det er takket være deg! Eg tenkte at få være en av dine nærmeste venner var det beste i verden, men eg var feil for nå veit eg at det absolutt beste er å få være din kjæreste. Og eg håper nå at du vil være noe mer enn kjærester, så eg spør nå, vil du gifte deg med meg? (Bård Urheim Ylvisåker, you are the best person I ever met and I've never been this happy as I am right now and that's thanks to you! I thought being one of your closest friends was the best thing in the world but I was wrong because now I know that the absolutely best this is to get to be your boyfriend. And now I hope you want to be something more than my boyfriend, so I ask you, do you want to marry me?"

Bård feels his heartbeat go faster and faster for each word that leaves Calle's mouth, but this is in a good way. Sometimes when that happens he knows he is about to have a panic attack, but now is it just nervousness and the effect of being in love. _This is really happening!_

"...vil du gifte deg med meg? (...do you want to marry me?)", he asks and gets out a box that he opens and when he does that Bård cannot do anything else than raising up and throwing his arms around his shoulders.

"Ja! Aldri vært så skikker som eg er nå! (Yes! Never been as sure as I am right now!)"

Vegard is about to cry when he watches the scene in front of him, and he realises he does when Helene gently wipes away a tear from his cheeks. He turns towards her and gives her a kiss. A moment ago he thought it was perfect, but now it is perfect perfect perfect.


	2. Because All Love Is Something Beautiful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Calle ♥︎ Bård](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9OqWErU81g)

The same table who Dec had pointed out earlier that evening catch Ant’s attention soon again. It takes a bit before he fully understands what’s going on because of the language, but when the blond guy kneels down he taps Dec’s hand to make him look up from his dessert.  
  
“What?”, he looks up, still having chocolate in his mouth and all over his teeth.  
  
“Look, over there. Looks like he’s going to propose.”, he whispers and nods towards the other table in an almost discreet way. They don’t need to understand the words that exchange, their body languages say enough to clearly understand how happy both of them are. They kiss each other and some of the other guests in the restaurant applaud, Ant and Dec too. The whole thing makes him think about when Dec proposed to him. It came as a big surprise because, in his mind and imagination, it had always been he who did it. Ant was the man in their relationship and it had always been like that, at least in Ant’s mind. “They’re really cute, fit together.”  
  
“They do”, Dec nods before he smiles “But we’re cuter.”, he is about to lean in and kiss his cheek when they both turn towards the table again when they hear a loud voice. A voice saying homophobic things as he walks up to the table. It seems like everyone in the room is looking at them right now and the dark blond* guy who a moment ago was so happy suddenly looks very uncombable and he lets go of his fiance’s hand.  
  
“Will you please just go back to your table and leave us alone?”, a man with dark curls says calmly and then looking at the dark blond one and saying something in that language again.  
  
“Not until you’ve made that fucking disgusting fucking pair to leave!”, he says and then starts a long rant about how wrong it is, against nature, that they will burn in hell and how they deserve to get aids all at the same time as he takes a step closer and he spits in their direction.  
  
Dec really has to bit his tough hard and Ant places a calm hand on his arm when all he wants is to stand up and scream at him. But he breathes in and out, tries to think straight. Knows that lost his mind and just scream wouldn't be optimal. The curly man raises up from his chair and walks up to the other man and he really looks so short and small (even though Dec’s absolutely not the person to call someone else short…) in comparison to that stereotype of a white, fat, American man.  
  
“You’ve got _no_ rights to use those awful words about _anyone_ and who are you to tell anyone else what’s right or wrong? Their love doesn’t affect your life, so again, please go back to your own table because this discussion won’t lead to anything because we obviously don’t live in the same world. Because in my world it is 2013 and love is love.”, he says, looking at him and Dec’s impressed by how calm he's still when he says it.  
  
“I see, you’re a faggot too and keen on him too.”, is what he gets as a response and he points at the dark blond one. Dec look at him and at his disgusting grin that makes him want to smash his face in.  
  
“Does it matter if I’m gay or not?”, he says, still as calm as before, “I have a lovely wife, but in my world that doesn’t stop me from backing my brother when people like you insults him.”  
  
When the other man just continues, Dec can’t stand it anymore and he has to say something. “Can you just leave them alone? It’s 2013 for god damn sake! And as he said, love is love so you just shush your mouth!”, he begins calm but doesn't manage to remain that, as the other guy had.  
  
The situation doesn't really help when Ant carefully and a bit warningly says his name and gives him that glance and says low, “Maybe not now?”  
  
“Now.”, he says and leans in and kisses him, just to provoke before he continues, “Now because this are options I can’t allow anyone to have, or at least express without saying that that’s not okay!”  
  
“Oh… I recognise you...”, he says with a contemptuously half smile. “And It’s people like you who spread all those disgusting values!”  
  
\---  
  
Bård doesn’t dare to look up, he just looks at his lap and refuses to hold onto Calle’s hand at the moment. Memories crash down on him but he tries to just listen to Vegard’s voice and try to believe his words. He loves him, has always been there for him. Always there to back his brothers. Another voice cuts through his mind and he has to look up for a second. A guy taking Vegard’s side and Bård want to send him a thankful smile or something but he just dares to look up for a second. He has to look down again when he feels the other man's glance - full of hate - land on him. The whole thing goes on for some minutes more, but in his world, it feels like hours before he hears an authoritarian voice the other man to leave the restaurant.  
  
When the headwater has made the man leave Calle sees the tension in his boyfriend and tries to reach out for his hand again. He holds it and squeezes it. He looks at him and he’s looking so scared and again Calle reminds of how fast his mood can switch. This was now an extreme situation, but years of knowing Bård, he has learned to handle him and how to act to get him to smile again.  
  
“Bård, vi tenker ikkje på det som skjedde nå. Eg er her, Vegard og Helene er her, og du trenger ikkje å være redd. (Bård, we don’t think about what happened. I’m here, Vegard and Helene are here and you don’t have to be afraid.)”, he says softly and takes his hand again. “Se på hånden din (Look at your hand)”, he lifts his hand to get Bård to look at the ring before he kisses his hand and continues “Dette er ein positiv kveld - husker du ka eg spurte deg om tidligere? (This is a positive night - do you remember what I asked you about before?)”  
  
“Eg husker, kordan kunne eg glemme når det var ka som forårsaket dette. (I remember, how could I forgot when that was what caused all this.)”, Bård half smile at him but then nods, “Men du har rett, alltid rett. Le og smile. (But you’re right, as always. Laugh and smile.)”, he leans in and kisses him.

\---

*I know, maybe “we” or I have to reconsider the description about Bård’s hair. Sometimes he’s called blond, but that’s because Vegard’s hair is so much darker - but that doesn't really make Bård blond… Somewhere between dark blond and brown - ish? Maybe…?


	3. A Little Thank You

They continue their dinner and Calle he had to manage cheer Bård up for a bit before he went silent again. “Bård?”, he asks and Bård looks at him and it looks like he forces himself to smile. “Ka tenker du på? (What are you thinking about?)”  
  
“Eg… nei… (I… no…)”  
  
“Fortell. (Tell me.)”  
  
“Eg føler eg vil si takk, men eg vet ikkje… Kanskje eg bare vill virke rart? (I feel I want to say thanks, but I don’t no… Maybe I would just seem weird?)”  
  
“Nei (No)”, he says and smiles at him, “Eg syns det er en go’ ide, kom!” (I think it’s a good idea, come with me!)  
  
They walk up to the table and when they get this close and when he sees those two together, Calle becomes more and more sure about the fact that it actually is Ant and Dec.  
  
“Ehm… Hi.”, Bård begins and they get their attention and Calle smiles encourage at Bård to make him continue. “I just want to say thank you… For before, for backing us, even though we don’t know each other. It means a lot.”  
  
And Calle nods in some kind of agreements when his boyfriend - or now - soon to be husband talks and also thanks for what he did.  
  
“Your welcome”, the guy, who probably is Ant and Dec-Dec _(or if it is Ant...?)_ answers. “But I could not not do anything. I mean, we all have to stand up for what’s right and wrong.”, he says and then for a second he looks at the guy opposite him.  
  
“I know how right you are, you always are when it comes to his, but I’m just worried sometimes. He was so much bigger than you…”, he answers him and reaches his hand.  
  
“I know, but we have to fight anyway.”, first he looks at partner and then back at him and Bård when he continues, “Each time we’ve been exposed for homophobia I’ve wished someone had stood up for us, so it felt like my duty to say something!”  
  
Bård seems a bit more relaxed now and he thanks one more time and then it becomes silent for a bit and Calle wonders if they just should go back to their table now… But Ant (or Dec?) brakes the silent, “I almost forgot, but congrats on the engagement!”, he exclaims and of course does the other guy that as well. They thank and share a kiss when Helene suddenly appear behind them and them about the dessert. Thinking for a bit they come to the conclusion; cheesecake and apple pie and she disappears back to their table again.  
  
\---  
  
“I guess that you probably have things to celebrate and want to do that on your own, but I thought it had been nice to go out together when we’re all done?”, Dec asks, first looking at the pair in front of them and then at Ant, hoping he talks for them both. He at least feels that they really click and to his lucky Ant nods and smiles in agreement.  
  
“Sounds like a plan?”, the blond smiles at his partner.  
  
“I’m on! Is it okay if I ask my brother and his wife too?”  
  
“Yeah, do that!”, Ant smiles and then they are left with the blond one with the messy hair, but without a name - but half through that thought, he seems to think of the same and reaches out his hand.  
  
“Sorry, I’m Calle, by the way.”  
  
“Hi, Dec.”, he smiles back at him.  
  
(And at the same time in Calle’s head he is was about to say ‘I know’ before his brain, fortunately, stops him and changes that to a) “Oh, it’s nice to meet you!”  
  
“And my name’s Ant.”, they shake hand.  
  
Calle thanks him even one more time for what he did and said before and Dec has to smile at the guy’s seriousness. His face and voice are so serious, "It really means a lot to him and everything that means a lot to him means even more to me.". Dec sees how much he loves this guy off his, and he just has to smile - because still, after being together with Ant for 21 years he still feels the same way as he felt back then. Or no, that was a lie - his love for Ant grows for each day. He didn't even know this was possible. And Ant's eyes are still sparkling and twinkling when he looks at him - humans are selfish and we love those who love us - depressing or just beautiful?   
  
“Can I ask you another thing?”, Ant says suddenly.  
  
“Go on.”

“We discussed your languages, so if you don’t mind me asking, where are you coming from?”  
  
“From Norway.”  
  
“Good there, love, almost right.”, Dec smiles at Ant.

“What did you guess?”  
  
“Sweden or Norway.”  
  
They small talk for some more seconds before the other guy comes back and Calle points at him. “So that’s Bård or Bard - my boyfriend of course.”


	4. Not Two Early Birds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember fiction - I don’t really know when WHEN they met - but let’s decide this is summer 2013. They’re born 1975+13+25=2013 and I’m almost sure that The Fox is recorded in NYC but it could’ve also been LA

“So what are you doing here, more than getting engaged?”, Dec asks when they have got a drink each from the bartender.

“Eh... We-”, Bård stops himself with a little laugh, “I’m still a bit shocked”, he says and shakes his head, but with a big smile on his lips.

Calle leans in and kisses him before he explains, “We were a week in New Work for work, and then we flew over here to Oregon because your little brother lives and works here.”

After an hour or so they’d end up in a smaller, but very cosy pub slash and nightclub and in some way had it felt natural to start to talk about work.

“So what are you doing then?”, Dec asks curiously.

“Hmm… It's a good question, but I guess we try to do almost the same things as you do; Entertain in different ways but on a much lower level, with a Norwegian budget.”

“Norwegian budget, that doesn't sound like a bad thing, I mean are you one of the richest countries in the world?”

Bård then follows up with, “It may sound good but when 500 000 viewers is a good number… Then you don't get that much.”, which really gets Dec to realise how small that country is, at least when it comes to the habitation.

“But you shouldn't complain! If you had shared the money a bit more solidarity at least…?”, he says and then he looks at Dec and starts to talk about Bård in the third person, “For example, now the last week, he and Vegard have been recording a song and a music video should be made which probably cost a lot - and I got a cameraman, a microphone and should I walk around and just curse on the street.”

“Yup, that’s what you get… Two grown up men - or one of them has at least kids and wife - singing about animal… sounds and another guy using the word cock as many times possible in each sentence. Highly intelligent humour.”

“Almost as intelligent as laughing at celebrities’ eating living spiders and bathing with cockroaches.”, Dec laughs, “I love the fact that not everything has to be sharp satire.”, he continues and explains his view at it.

He and Ant have worked, or been in this business since they were 11 - so of course, the things they've done have been of different quality and some of the things had someone may be thought was “better” in terms of “more accepted” or “smarter”. But Dec’s view, it is, and has been the same since the day he started - of course it exist some things he kinda regrets today - but he has always followed his heart and did what felt right in the situation and that he thought would make other people laugh. As long as you put all your heart into the project you can do whatever you want.

The best thing about working with Ant, (despite that Ant’s his best mate and the love of his life) is that Dec has always been spontaneous and he chooses with his heart and guts. And Ant, he is more sceptical, if you can call it that, he likes to think through every decision in months before he chooses A or B. He thinks that’s the key to their success, do the things his heart and Ant’s brain have said yes to.

“I'm so sorry, but now I just have to be as annoying as all the journalists are, but you live with him and you’ve worked together since… since forever, do you ever get tired of him?”, Calle asks that.

Dec looks towards Ant and the table some meters away, where the rest of the group have sat down, at the same a time as they'd been occupied and stocked in the conversation and been left standing in the bar. “Let me say this, every morning when he wakes me up with 'Good morning, you have to hurry up because…’, then I seriously consider both never work again and leave him.”, that's actually true… Especially when they do I'm a celebrity. “I hate him when he pulls off my duvet and the literally drags me into the shower. I'm so moody in the morning until I've got my breakfast and a coffee and the fact that he stays with me is a pure miracle!”

Calle laughs, that's a description of his life! Vegard really hadn't exaggerated when he said it was a nightmare to get his brother out of bed when they were on tour together. “He's the same, but I can't cheer him up with coffee.”

“I don't get what's the problem about being a bit late, it’ll always be solved in the end.”, Bård answers, can't deny the fact that he's grumpy in the morning too.

“Yeah, you know why? Thanks to Vegard who always talks you out of all the problems.”, Calle says and shakes his head. 

**Author's Note:**

> Summer break and therefore a lot of time over - and because I have no friends or/and life. *face-palming-emoji*
> 
> The other thing: we're working on it.


End file.
